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SmileCecile wins the speech contestStar.
SmileLouise wins the topicsStar.

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Both winners come from North Bucks speakers,and go forward to the next level on the 11th October. For details of all contests see:



Elena was 3rd in topics, Sue was second.

Delphine came 3rd in the humorous speech,and Dave was second.


Here’s the round up of what we saw today,as the 4 clubs went head to head in the next round of the contest.
The topics asked the question…what character would you be in a book?
Atma said he would be a hero,and change the world.
Elena was a touch risqué in being Anastasia Steele ( a shade naughty).
Johnathon wanted to be Sir Winston Churchill.
Delphine eventually decided on a fairy,noting French books were not so inspiring.
Trisha fancied taking on the carer role in Mice and Men.
Sue wanted to be Hermione in Harry Potter,but wanted a more burly husband.
Louise,who was first up,explained her son was mistaken for Harry Potter,and subsequently as his mother appeared,she was mistaken for his real mother.Stories of gothic clothes,capes and snakes won the competition.

From the humour point of view,we were entertained from start to finish.

Atma explained the perils of arranged weddings,Indian style.
Sue talked about planning a honeymoon,and the subsequent vaccines and other risks of exotic travel.
Tony cheekily told us about the embarrassment of his wife’s shopping habits.
Johnathon showed his attempts at pizza skills,and the subsequent disaster.
Delphine’s speech was the repercussions of not putting her birthday details on Facebook,and her mother forgetting the day. Delphine came third.

Daves attempts at DIY were hilarious,as he managed to create more damage than repair.He came second.
Cecile led us through an incredible journey of the perils of translating languages.All I can say,is that she really was awesome,and will wow the next level.A well deserved first prize.


There was a lot of work behind the scenes,and people were thanked.
Red,our division governor,explained about the next levels of the contest,and how the programme is changing.
It was an incredible day.Please support your area representatives on the 11th October.


Republished Daniel Sandars 1/10/2014 from original material on Facebook by Louise

Just a quick summary of the forthcoming autumn contest dates around Area 44.

Dates for Diaries Event Location/Notes
Wednesday, September 3 Cranfield Speakers’ Humorous Speech and Table Topics Contest 6:15pm at the Cranfield Students’ Association (CSA) lounge NB Also the farewell party for our MSc leavers. Contact
Thursday, September 11 Bedford Speakers’ Humorous speech and topics contest 7:15pm Fox & Hounds, 178 Goldington Road, Bedford, MK40 3EB
Thursday, September 18 North Bucks Speakers’ Humorous speech and topics contest 7:15pm at The Well at Willen. For details contact:
Monday, September 22 Eldergate Speakers’ Humorous speech and topics contest 6:30pm at the MK National Badminton Centre Optional follow on drinks and meal at Slug and Lettuce pub. Contact
Saturday, September 27 Area 44 Humorous Speech and Table Topics Contest Cranfield Management Research Institute (CMRI), Cranfield Campus Contact
Saturday, October 11 Division G Humorous Speech and Table Topics Contest The Huntingdon Golf Course
Friday, November 7 to Sunday, November 9 District 71 Conference (Humorous Speech & Table Topics Contest final round) Belfast

Northampton Speakers are still a prospective club and will not host a contest this time.

Prepared by Daniel

And so, to a packed meeting room at the Well for the annual North Bucks Humourous Speech & Table Topics Contest, expertly presided over by Carmel. With a crack team of judges from out of town, the following four speakers competed for top prize :

Mick – One Small Step for Man
Maggie – The Green Conundrum
Derek – The Night Before Christmas
Steve – Jonah & The Rails

After much totting up of sums, Maggie was declared the winner, with Steve the runner-up.

For Table Topics, the following contestants pitted their wits and quick-thinking against Table Topics Master Sue.

Roger, Harsheed, Tyrone, Derek, Lynda.

Lynda was the winner, with Roger second and Harsheed third.

Therefore, Maggie and Lynda will go forward to represent North Bucks Speakers in the Area 44 contest. This takes place on Monday 1st October at the National Badminton Centre, and support for our contestants would be warmly received.

Thank you to everybody that attended, especially all of our contestants, judges and officials. It was a fine evening with some good competition, and I am looking forward to the next one already.

Next Meeting : Thursday 4th October at the Well. Please sign up for roles or indicate attendance via the d71 website.

On the 28th September, Cranfield held its first ever humorous speech and impromptu speaking contest. After the judges and the contestants had been formally briefed, the evening kicked off with Andy opening the meeting in his role as Sergeant at Arms, introducing Jim as Contest Chair.

Maggie and Trisha kept time for the evening and Nicky and Jim counted grunts. Jenny headed up the panel of four judges.

The first contestant for humour was Louise, whose speech ‘Under the Stars’ guided the audience through three types of camping: Festival Camping, highlighting the need for waders and guitars for firewood; Wild Camping, featuring silence, solitude and survival skills; and Glamping, where expectations ride high around the luxury teepee offering.

Second contestant was Daniel, whose speech entitle ‘Seconds of mid-life anyone?’ gave us all an insight into his married, male and middle-aged state – even throwing in the odd mother-in-law joke!

Third up was Rebecca with her speech entitled ‘Starting School’, which included a personality profiling of the audience – using how they engaged with sweets back in their classroom days as the determining factor.

The fourth contestant was Paul, who took us through the three types of people perceived to be living their lives in a state of cliché – management consultants, politicians and society in general with our small talk.

As they entered the room one at a time, Jim advised each table topics contestant of the same topic, which was a definition of the word ‘jobsworth’ followed by the request to recall their most memorable encounter of a jobsworth.

First contestant for table topics was Paul, who recounted his experience within an engine room and a colleague refusing to clean some boiler plates using a toothbrush.

Second contestant was Louise who recalled her experience of returning items to a shop without a receipt.

Third up was Yiorgos, who spoke of petrol park attendants who had ideas above their station.

Fourth contestant was Tom, who observed the jobsworths among ‘Council Waste Executives’, but then pointed out that there is probably a jobsworth in all of us somewhere.

Jenny presented the Certificates of Participation for Humourous Speech 2011 and then announced 2nd place to Louise and 1st place to Paul.

Certificates of Participation for Table topics were given out, and 2nd place awarded to Paul, and 1st place awarded to Louise.

As winners from our club competition, Paul and Louise will go on to compete in the Beds and Bucks Area Contest, which Cranfield is hosting next Wednesday, 5th October, in the CMRI (Bldg 38) at 8pm. All members are warmly encouraged to attend this special Area event.

17 attended including 2 guests: Carla and Sam.

Carla commented on how clever people were to get up and talk on table topics and hopes one day to be able to do the same.
Sam expressed how impressed he was and would like to spread the word amongst his course mates.

A thoroughly entertaining meeting – thanks to all!

The meeting closed on time 7.55pm